Screamin' J. Lopez

She put a spell on you, Sean Puffy Combs. Because you weren't hers.

Now we have confirmation of the efficacy of magical spells. Already one would have assumed that only appeals to the supernatural could explain J. Lo's career successes. The legal problems of Sean (P-Puffy, Puffy-Doody, whatever the heck his name is now) Combs certainly seemed deeper and stupider than could be accounted for by the commonly accepted laws of the universe. Now we find the answers in this deposition by a Jennifer Lopez ex-husband, made available by the intrepid busybodies at The Smoking Gun.

As with so many affairs of the heart, it was all about the voodoo.