Left the Building?

I'm sure that Prime Minister Koizumi of Japan and President Bush of Here will be keeping their eyes peeled during their visit to Graceland today for any evidence of the rumored ongoing life of the said-to-be-dead former resident. (I mean Elvis.) Sadly, I feel that they will be disappointed. I make that statement as probably the foremost researcher into the question of whether or not Elvis is dead or not (or is). Certainly few have more experience, since I began questioning whether Elvis was dead or alive not long after "Spinout."

While my research has so far failed to conclusively settle the question, I can state with certainty that if Elvis is not dead, he is at a minimum very, very good at hiding. So I fear that the Japanese visitor will go home disappointed. President Bush, if he wants to thrill his distinguished visitor, should consider hiring one of the 689 registered Elvis Impersonators in the Memphis area to run across the lawn while everyone points and says, "Did you see that!!"

It's just a little white lie and it would make the guy's day.